It's Just One of Those Days......

I hate the fact the rain came pouring in
I hate the fact he couldn't meet me because of the rain
I hate the fact I had to wait for hours (in heels!) before he confirmed he couldn't make it
I hate the fact the rain made me all cold and wet
I hate the fact I'd still have to worry about cab fare to take me home
I hate the fact I had to come home alone
I hate the fact he couldn't come to my house tomorrow
I hate the fact that dinner's not served
I hate the fact that I came home to an empty house
I hate that I bawled into tears for some stupid reasons
I hate the fact that you can't get here to hold me, dear


Never felt so alone before.......

You're the Mr Big To My Carrie

I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Kenapa gw keluar dari kerjaan lama untuk masuk Okezone yang notabene artinya turun gaji? (Supaya bisa ketemu beberapa teman terdekat gw, dan juga si abang). Kenapa gw mau aja terima pekerjaan itu padahal ditempatin di sport/bola bukannya lifestyle seperti yang gw mau? (Supaya akhirnya gw bisa diterbangkan ke Capetown saat Piala Dunia 2010. Oh, dan ketemu si pacar :p). Kenapa gw ditransfer ke desk tekno padahal mungkin gw adalah orang paling gaptek yang pernah ada? (Supaya gw dikirim liputan ke Singapura dan bisa dapet BlackBerry gratis dari petinggi RIM di Asia. Ya, dan juga ketemu si abang).

Dan tentu saja pertanyaan terbesar abad ini: kenapa gw bisa dipertemukan dengan mantan gw di SMA dan menyia-nyiakan 8 tahun hidup gw dengan menjomblo karena entah atas pikiran gila dari mana bahwa gw dan dia pada akhirnya akan berjodoh?

Yep, this is the ex-file.

Sejarah singkat: gw dan mantan adalah teman sekelas di 3 SMA, sempat digosipin, gw naksir duluan, dia udah punya pacar, gw tetap keras kepala head-over-heels sama dia, dia nyadar, gw masih tergila-gila, dia akhirnya naksir balik, dia ngajak ke prom, dia ngajak jadian, bahagia selama delapan bulan, dia minta putus di hari Valentine, kembali pacaran satu bulan kemudian, menjalani hubungan searah (= gw menuruti semua keinginan dia dan dia pada dasarnya melakukan apapun yang dia mau), mulai sering berantem, dia menghindari gw selama sebulan, gw nangis bombay karena kembali 'dibuang', gw dateng ke rumahnya untuk memastikan hubungan itu berakhir.

Fiuh. Semua itu terjadi dalam kurun waktu 1 tahun 5 bulan. Yah, memang, saat itu kita berdua masih anak-anak, baru lulus SMA dan masih dalam proses pencarian jati diri. Sedikit tidak adil mungkin kalau membandingkan kelakuan sang mantan saat itu dengan situasi saat ini. Tapi yang mau gw bahas sebenarnya bukan hanya perlakuan tidak hormat dia selama kita pacaran. Tapi juga kelakuan dia selama beberapa tahun setelah kita resmi putus dan dia bahkan sudah move on dan menikahi perempuan lain.

Untungnya dulu gw rajin nulis jurnal. Karena gw sering mencatat detil kontak-kontak yang dilakukan sang mantan setelah kita putus. Di saat gw bertekad kuat untuk menghapus dia dari ingatan, tiba-tiba dia selalu datang, entah lewat SMS, telepon atau bahkan ajakan kencan. All those flirtations, sweet talks, lured me right back into his captivity. Tapi, ketika gw luruh dan goyah, saat itulah dia pergi lagi dan menghindari kontak dari gw. (Soooo Mr Big in 'Sex and the City' season 3)

Semua tarik ulur dan jebakan beracun itu membuat gw terpaku selama delapan tahun dan terus menyimpan secuil harapan bahwa gw dan dia sebenarnya berjodoh. Mungkin Tuhan harus membuat dia menjadi milik orang lain dulu sebelum dia akhirnya menyadari bahwa gw adalah pasangan terbaik buat dia.

Gw bahkan nyaris durhaka sama abang karena pernah berniat nyuruh si mantan jemput gw di kantor supaya abang berhenti mendekati gw. Untungnya gw disadarkan oleh teman baik gw dan hati nurani gw pun melarang tindakan nista itu.

Yah, meskipun sedikit miris karena gw harus menyia-nyiakan 8 tahun hidup gw dengan menjomblo, tapi semua memang terjadi karena suatu alasan. Gw harus menjadi pihak yang 'mengejar' dulu supaya tahu menjadi pihak yang 'dikejar' itu lebih enak :p Gw harus merasakan sakit karena sering disia-siakan oleh mantan supaya bisa merasakan bahagianya punya pasangan yang selalu menjadikan gw prioritas utamanya.

God made me and my ex met so I could realize that I'm so lucky to meet my significant other

That Thing You Do (For Me)

Of all the sweetest moments and things I love about my other half, these are my favorites :)

1. Not long after we're officially dating, he and I were (uhm) making out on my couch. As he was kissing me, he suddenly whispered, "I love you". He never said those three words out loud ever since (only in texts, like me :p)

2. He always stand at the outer side every time we're crossing the roads

3. Sometimes he surprises me with little kisses on my shoulder, my head, or (just last week) my thigh

4. When I said I wanted to buy a laptop, he arranged it all for me so when we went to the store, all I had to do was make sure it was the right color and paid for it. Never felt so taken care of before....

5. When I need an internet token for work in the middle of the night, he got out of bed and bought it for me

6. Sometimes he surprises me by buying Ben and Jerry's or Hagen Daazs ice cream ^^

7. He likes to kiss my eyelids after he kisses me

8. When we were at his house and there were no food in sight, he cooked me a home made spaghetti bolognese (since then, pasta is sort of becoming our signature comfort food)

9. He didn't make a romantic proposal to me, instead he'd just blurted it out during our conversation. No roses, no romantic music, no "Will you marry me?", just a plain "Let's get married". Oh I love how 'hipster' we are :))

How I Met My Other Half (V): Let Me Kiss You

So how did we transformed our relationship from friends to lovers?

It all happened on Java Jazz Festival weekend in 2011. Jadi, karena kantor lama adalah media, gw dapet tiket gratis dan ID untuk liputan. Jumat datang kesana bareng teman, sampe jam 12 dijemput sama si abang yang bela-belain di kantor sampe malem :)

Tapi puncaknya (macam mudik) adalah di hari Sabtu. Berangkat sore-sore demi ngejar show nya Gugun Blues Shelter. Saat itu gw masih menimbang-nimbang to start a relationship with him. Tapi waktu nonton Gugun, he put his arms around me, and I let him. I dunno, it feels right. And we held hands everywhere. Intinya, we behaved like a couple that night.

Pulang dari Kemayoran jam 2 pagi (woo-hoo!), mata udah berat karena pagi-pagi juga udah ke kantor. Dia nyuruh gw tidur sambil peluk pinggang dia biar ga jatoh. Sebelum itu gw emang ga pernah dibonceng sambil peluk pinggang, pasti pegangan belakang motor. Tapi, karena gak tahan ngantuk, ya terpaksa lah peluk pinggang (halah!).

Sampe rumah gw kita ngobrol-ngobrol sebentar, dan akhirnya mengarah ke....our first kiss. Yep. Hilang lah semua keraguan gw, saat dia minta ijin mau nyium gw, gw langsung iyain. First kiss, then first frenching :p Dia ngakunya sih belom pernah nyium cewek, jadi sok minta gw ajarin (ehm, ya gini-gini udah pengalaman juga, walaupun 8 taun menjomblo). But the joke was on me, cause he was GOOD. Yep, so good I had a suspicion he'd done this a lot of times with a lot of women :p

Tapi kepastian we became a couple itu baru kira-kira dua minggu kemudian, saat outing kantor ke Tanjung Lesung. Di sana banyak yang mulai curiga sama hubungan kita dan terus nanya apa kita berdua pacaran. Tentunya, seperti selebriti Hollywood, kita cuma ketawa dan keep silent.

Ternyata, bukan hanya teman-teman kantor yang penasaran. Si abang pun nanya lagi saat anter gw ke rumah, karena rupanya gw belum kasi pernyataan resmi. Padahal gw sengaja biar ga macam abege :p Jadilah, waktu dia nanya, "So, you're my girl, right?" (those were the exact words, I'm telling you), gw pun mengangguk.

Let's see.....

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How I Met My Other Half (IV): Bali Safari Park and 'Long December'

So, how did I finally fallen into my spouse's charm? It all began at Bali, when I was signed to do a report on Canon's latest releases.

Canon benar-benar nomor satu dalam menservis para jurnalis. Tau di mana mereka menempatkan kami? Bali Safari dan Marine Park, yang gw yakin banget rate kamarnya bakal bikin mata melongo. Berhubung hanya ada dua reporter perempuan, kami menikmati satu kamar kabin yang cukup lega dan mewah.

To make long story short, my significant other constantly texting me during the three-day trip, and I really enjoyed his affection. Di malam pertama (bukan malam pertama yang itu) gw terjaga sampai larut malam untuk mengirim berita. Ditemani rintik hujan (ini bukan sok dramatis) di luar, dan lantunan cover 'A Long December' dari John Craigie.

Dan itu semua terjadi di dalam kamar yang super romantis ini

I guess I got carried away and started thinking about him.

Bukan hanya itu. I have to say, one of his texts is actually making me fell into him. Itu ketika gw dan reporter lainnya diajak ke Legian untuk, hm, party all night long :p He kept texting me and asked me how I was doing. And, in one of this texts, he wrote this: "Enjoy your night, dear..."

I don't know why, but that text kinda got to me. I fell for his tender affection. I remembered thinking: "If this what a relationship is, I want some of it."

jealous? moi?

I never thought myself as a jealous person. I never got jealous when I was with my ex. Mind you, ini mantan yang gw 'kejar' selama enam bulan sebelum akhirnya dia membalas perasaan gw. Ini mantan yang jadi my first everything. Ini mantan yang membuat gw menghabiskan delapan tahun menjomblo.

Tapi, sekarang? I'm the jealous one in my relationship. Never mind that he was the one chasing me for almost a year. Never mind that I rejected him once. I get jealous (though rarely expressed it) easily. I get jealous of his best girl friend, whom actually also my close friend. Nuts!

Oh well, I guess I finally found someone who's worth getting jealous for. Lebih tepatnya, someone I actually afraid of losing.

Good times, good friends, good food.....

Inilah hasil jalan-jalan seharian dengan teman-teman terdekat saat long weekend kemaren.

'Boarding' dari Jakarta jam setengah 6 pagi, tiba di Bandung jam 8 lewat dan sarapan unyu di resto cantik di deretan Jl. Progo (dekat Jonas Photo, in case anybody know). A little place called 'Tokyo Connection'. Agak menipu sebenarnya, karena meskipun dari luar terlihat kecil, ternyata dalemnya gede juga. Dari sisi tempat, ini restoran yang oke, tapi menunya terbatas, karena yah, Japanese food tidak bisa dinikmati setiap saat toh?

Beranjak ke Dago untuk cuci mata and did a little shopping (kecuali gw, yang hanya kepincut dengan jaket kulit seharga Rp469 ribu....dang!). Sambil menunggu perut kembali lapar supaya bisa lanjut ke lokasi kuliner berikutnya, Dago Pakar.

Setelah menimbang-nimbang, memilih, melihat-lihat, akhirnya pilihan makan siang cantik jatuh ke resto Congo yang bangunannya segede-gede alaihim. But, I guess it's the right choice, karena makanannya enaakkk dengan harga yang sangat standar untuk kualitas seperti itu (di Jakarta mungkin bisa 2x lipat).

Can't wait for the next trip girls :)

Love is A Playlist

Simply my declaration of love for you, dearest :*

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How I Met My Other Half (III): A Song A Day....

You know what my other half did months after I said no to him? He'd send me one YouTube link a day to my Facebook....containing these songs.

I thought it was a really romantic and sweet gesture, but of course I didn't want to admit it. Besides, I didn't want to get his hopes up.

Fortunately for me, he never gave me up even though I barely reacted to his sweet gesture :)





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How I Met My Other Half (II): "To Me You Are Perfect"

I once wrote in my other blog how I found the above scene from 'Love Actually' to be most romantic scene ever. So, my significant other decided to re-enact the scene when he was declaring his love to me. Well...not exactly like that, actually.

Jadi, setelah beberapa bulan berteman, tukar koleksi musik dan sama-sama menggilai film indie, tiba-tiba suatu malam si abang kucluk-kucluk mendatangi meja saya dan ngasi selembar kertas hasil print. Isinya? Semua kata-kata Mark di adegan Love Actually, compiled in one single paper, printed in black and white. Antara romantis dan maksa :p

Saat itu gw cuma bengong. Bukan karena gw ga menyangka perasaan dia (oh I've known from quite some time). Tapi gw ga menyangka dia akan memilih waktu yang sama sekali tidak romantis....beberapa saat sebelum gw harus piket malam sebagai punggawa kanal berita -____-

Not that I wanted romantic scenes.  Jujur, I loved hanging out with him. But as far as chemistry, I didn't feel it (yet).

Jadi, dua minggu kemudian (kurang lebih), di tempat makan nasi goreng di seberang gedung kantor, I said no to his offer.

Him: "Masih ada kemungkinan berubah gak jawabannya?"
Me: "Gw gak bisa bilang. Mungkin aja suatu saat berubah, tapi untuk saat ini, gw belum bisa"

Him: "Gw boleh tetap deketin lo?"
Me: "Ya itu hak lo, gw ga bisa ngelarang"
Him: "...."
Me: "Tapi gw minta waktu beberapa hari supaya jangan deketin gw dulu"

Dear Lord, I sounded like a bitch :p

Oh well, I had my karma all right. Now, it is me that can't be away from him for too long

How I Met My Other Half (I): We'll Always Have Joy Division

You know those romantic novels or movies when the main characters meet in the most unique and romantic ways? If I have to brag, I can say that my spouse and I had one of the most interesting 'meet-up' story.

Of all the men I've ever been with (that's 5, in case you ask), this is possibly the best meet up story I have. Who would've thought a Joy Division shirt could brought us together?

Jadi cerita bermula saat outing kantor lama tahun 2010 lalu. I didn't know him back then, karena dia anak baru dan saya manusia kuper. Tapi suatu malam gw pake lah tu kaos Joy Division (pinjeman juga dari adek, so I owe you one sista!). Little did that I knew, ternyata ada juga yang merhatiin kaos itu selain temen baik gw.

Gak terlalu inget, tapi keesokan harinya samar-samar inget ada yang nanya, "Kaosnya bagus deh, beli dimana sih?". Sampe sekarang masih bertanya-tanya apa itu dia ya? :p

Singkat cerita, ternyata dari situlah saya mulai diperhatikan dan dia mulai pendekatan. Karena emang banyak kesamaan, jadi lumayan deket, and the rest is, as they say, history. Except when I rejected him after four or five months approach....but that's another story :)

me myself and i

Sepertinya Twitter sudah tidak bisa lagi memenuhi kebutuhan saya untuk bernarsis ria dan menumpahkan segala perasaan dan pemikiran tanpa harus khawatir dengan pendapat orang. Mind you, this is the place where I get to be sappy and mellow and bragging about my life at the same time. So, enter at your own risk, it's all about me, me, ME!